where are my feelings?
I grew up in a patriarchal family, with an older brother. Because my dad and my brother butted heads a lot, I flew under the radar, and did what I could to please my dad, to the point where he openly called me his favorite child, but that also meant my brother resented me openly and picked on me in my dad's absence. The repercussions of this can be a separate novelet. Anyways, one of the things I was criticized by my persecutor (my brother) was that 'you are so emotional'. When someone who lives with you, who's physically larger, stronger, and older picks on a child 3 years younger, I don't see how one would not show emotions of anger, sadness, and rage, but, hey, that's what he said repeatedly, and I can still clearly hear it in my head. I grew up with the impression that women are too emotional, too dramatic, nags too much, too chatty, too high maintenance, etc. It's also a message I gathered from media, books (Pride and Prejudice, much?), and sch...